I just noticed the other day that my dear friend Delores has written a blog post! How exciting after almost seven months of silence… almost as long as her pregnancy… hmmm… I know I don’t have any room to talk with my long bouts of silence myself so I’ll move on…
Delores writes about her recent experience as a surrogate mommy and the reaction that she has received from other people… I’m guessing that these people are mostly women since we can be the most bitchy to each other. Men don’t usually get away with nasty comments, side looks, or the such without some sort of repercussion.
I delivered that baby. “That” baby. Not my baby. My babies aren’t much in the way of babies anymore. She’s just “that” baby. Or “the” baby if you will. I don’t feel anything for her. In my mind, that’s exactly how it should be. I’ve discussed this a great deal lately. I don’t have any issues, lingering feelings, longings for a child that isn’t mine. So why are people looking at me like THAT is wrong? I’m being handled with extra care because I had to give up a child. I didn’t give up anything. I was simply a tool used for the purpose of creating a family. Sounds very factory made but it’s not an ugly thing. It’s a wonderful thing that I could be useful in such an endeavor. I’m proud of what I’ve done. I just don’t think I need to lend emotions where none are required. Not for me. I have my children. I love my children and would break you in two if you tried to hurt them.
First off… I am always happy for any woman who is able to grow a child inside of her for nine months and deliver it successfully. I’m not sure I have a lot of friends that have gone through multiple pregnancies but it does get more difficult each time. So… BRAVO Delores!! Job well done! And kudos to your ever fertile uterus!
As a sidenote… I am super jealous that you got to be pregnant for nine months, suck up all the attention of being pregnant, and then after delivering you didn’t have all of those tedious midnight feedings or higher car insurance when he/she turns 16. You got to have your cake and eat it too! AWESOME! (if only my eggs weren’t so old and withered… sigh)
Don’t ever let anyone make you feel emotionally inferior… What you are feeling is completely natural… After all, they psych tested you beforehand, right?? There isn’t something “wrong” with you because you aren’t emotionally attached to a child that was never yours.
You are a life giver!! And I think you are special… and not in a tardy kinda way…