Facebook Creep

Shortly after Adam left, I went through a period of “wtf do I do now?” which can be expected… I thought maybe going back to my roots would be the best thing for me so I started attending church again. It was a small Methodist church with a congregation of maybe fifty people… more or less… I really have no idea why I was going except perhaps for a social aspect… I wasn’t “getting” anything from the sermons as I’m pretty much an extheist now… We didn’t have a car so one of my friends would pick us up for church and that was thoughtful of her… very Christian-like… I suppose she thought it would be cute if I started dating again and introduced me to Bob {name has been changed to protect the creepazoid}. Bob was older than me and had never been married… I spent some time getting to know Bob in the church atmosphere and decided “sure, I’ll go out to dinner with you”… and so we did…

Bob thought it would be nice if we went to Applebee’s for dinner… or Ruby Tuesdays… or someplace like that… I wore a nice pair of jeans and a sweater… He showed up in a three piece suit… I shit you not… At first, I thought “how cute”… then he asked me why I hadn’t worn a skirt… like it was a sin… ummm… dude… it’s Applebee’s for god’s sake…

STRIKE ONE

Dinner was fairly uneventful… there was a moment during the conversation where we were discussing some sort of important life lesson and he said “It’s like that time when Picard tells Data…” ummmm… ya know… I’m a Star Trek fan but I’ll be damned if I’m going to admit it openly on the first date… and I DEFINITELY would not akin my recollection to some sort of important life lesson…

STRIKE TWO

By the end of the date, I knew the whole thing was a mistake… He accepted me for who I was… as he put it “what God had made” {rolling eyes} but I simply couldn’t accept him… he just wasn’t for me… I didn’t even need to get to… OMG! He even tried to lay a wet one on me before I got out of his car… ewwww…

Keep your tongue in YOUR mouth!! STRIKE THREE!!

From that night forward, he will carry the nickname “3 piece” and not because it’s some sort of knock out move…

Fast forward to Facebook… Quite simply, I was a little sick of social mediums ever since Myspace whored itself out to kids… I find the apps to be a pain in the ass and I really just wanted someplace to kick back and write without all the ridiculous sparkles and “shout outs!” (hence this blog). HOLLA! A fellow blogger (and friend) hit me up one day and told me to sign up with Facebook… I had avoided it for far too long… Add to that, my boss is on Facebook and wanted me to be his friend too… I couldn’t resist because I happen to know there is a picture of him in a kilt on his Facebook page… so I signed up…

One of the fascinating things about Facebook is that you can add people that aren’t even on Facebook yet and it will hold it in a “queue” of some sort… when that person finally decides to sign up, BAM they have friend requests already… Bob was one of the friend requests waiting for me… Sure, we may not have hit it off romantically but we could surely be FB friends, right? errr… no…

After I “accepted” his friend request, I visited his page… the pictures were unassuming… his sister had her baby and she’s adorable! I almost sent a message telling him so… until… I saw the groups he was listed under… “Men Who Like to Wear Women’s Lingerie”

WTF?!?!? Really??

I’ve changed his nickname to “FB Creep”…

yeah Delores… I know it isn’t what you expected… prolly bored you to tears… sorry…