Goodwill Awkwardness

My bloggy friend, Jenners recently wrote about an awkward moment she had at Goodwill and I promised her I would share a goody from my past dealings with Goodwill. After Ahole left, I started cleaning out all the old stuff in my life. It was my time for a fresh start and I wanted things to be orderly, organized and secretly I just wanted to make sure I got rid of all of his shit so it wouldn’t haunt me later in life. Little did I know that would be impossible unless I got rid of the kids too. I have a horrible time just throwing stuff out especially if they are clothes or books and still in excellent condition. I’ve only met one person worse than me and that’s Mr. McD. He won’t even throw out socks when the elastic is shot in them…

I spent days going through boxes of old clothes, closets stuffed full of old coats and shoes, and dressers bulging at their wooden joints. I packaged up well over ten trash bags full of clothes and other miscellaneous items. And I don’t mean the cutesy white kitchen bags… I’m talking the big honking lawn and leaf brown trash bags. I even splurged and got the ones that with the extra stretch to them so I wouldn’t have to worry about a stray tap shoe falling out of the bottom while travelling to Goodwill to drop off my treasures. Which brings to me a minor dilemma… I didn’t have a car… How was I going to get all of that stuff to Goodwill?

Luckily, a friend from church offered to pick up the bags and take them with him as he just happened to work at Goodwill… Coincidence? Or act of God? I didn’t care… I was saying goodbye to stuff that was cluttering up my house… He stopped over after church that Sunday and picked up all of the bags.

After church the next Sunday, he asked me out on a date. Surely… I was up for anything that would get me out of the house and socialize with another adult for a while. While we were on the date, he mentioned the trash bags and said that he would get a receipt for everything so I could use the tax deduction. I told him not to bother with it as I was just doing my good deed and didn’t expect a reward.

Then he asked me if I liked to dress in lingerie often… ummmmm… WTF? Apparently, he was the one that untied the trash bags and came across the “play lingerie” that I had been keeping since before the boys were even born… Hot little corsets with lacy fringes… thigh high fishnet stockings… sheer gloves that ride up to your elbows and aren’t for any sanitary purpose at all… I think there might have even been a pair of crotchless panties or two… not sure… I was mortified… We laughed it off as best as we could but now I look back and think “I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!” The gentleman who worked at Goodwill and picked up my bags was none other than Mr. ILiketoWearWomensLingerie Facebook Creep.