Just a little background first… We are in the midst of a pandemic going by the name of the H1N1 virus. If you haven’t heard about it yet, you’re an idiot. Anywho, Delaware schools are now offering the H1N1 nasal spray (live vaccine) free to all students. As a parent, it was kind of a tough decision because the vaccine is so new. Do I vaccinate? Do I not vaccinate? I figure it’s kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t situation OR it could totally be win-win…

Damned if you do = Kids get the vaccine and die because of some rare interaction
Damned if you don’t = Kids don’t get the vaccine and die from H1N1

Kids get the vaccine and stay healthy for the season… WIN!
Kids get the vaccine and die… two less mouths to feed AND a nice chunk of change from a lawsuit settlement… WIN!

Are you seeing a pattern here?

So, needless to say, it’s been a tough decision but I finally decided to bite the bullet, hope for the best, use every cliche I could think of, and I signed the papers giving the school permission to vaccinate the girls…

Question: Have you vaccinated your kids yet? Why or why not?

{story continued} Of course, being the good ex-spouse/fellow parent that I am, I also sent a message to their father (aka Ahole or Bass-tard) letting him know that they would be getting the H1N1 vaccine… Here is a short blurb of our “text”-versation today…

Ahole: Did the girls receive their shots? I can only handle the girls this wknd, there’s not a lot of room @ Maries. [aka White Trash Momma] I need to spend a lot of time looking 4 a full time white collar job so I can take nite GED classes. I’ve been looking for a full time job and I know now its all on line. Not the old way. I miss you all, best wishes. PS I want to know when they get the shot and how it affects them ASAP!!!
Me: Turned papers in for their shots. I think they receive them tomorrow.
Ahole: Think? Please find out and let me know I don’t want them out here in the boonies if one of them gets ill.
Me: You’re right. Maybe you should just forfeit this weekend so their real, full-time, responsible parent can observe them for 48 hours after the vaccine.

The best part is that he hasn’t paid child support since July and now has to go to court on November 4th. I’ve heard that if he doesn’t pay up before then, there will be “repercussions”… I’m hoping it involves handcuffs and a new boyfriend cellmate… but we all know I just can’t get that fucking lucky…